im sure others have experienced this throughout their life.
but there is something very remarkable about the realization that you havent lost yourself afterall
that you are, infact, you

blame the vino, blame the travel blues, blame it on the boogie
but i just retook the strengthsfinder and am sitting in the lobby of this courtyard marriott in the Seattle suburb, Federal Way, and I am just crying

oh great, "If I were a Boy" by Beyonce just came on.
what a mess

supposedly our organisation international president is staying here tonight
lets hope he doesnt pass by
but strengths finder
i feel so re-affirmed, so myself, so "ok"

Having taken the strengths finder my sophomore year in college, i know life has changed me, altered my perspective and potentially created a new individual inside my body.

but i have to say, during the 117 questions and 35 minute assessment
i panicked
i started thinking - well how 'should' i answer these questions
who is christie
what should i be
what does my mom think i should be
who does danny say I am
what does work want me to be

i feared clicking "submit" and reading 5 strengths that werent my own
that were someone elses
a perfect self
a prescribed, structured yet free, creative yet grounded person
but yet
they are all me
the strengths are me
at this time, place, now and current

i havent felt this re-affirmed in so long
and although mentors and best friends and husbands and family and bosses have rubbed my back, called, texted, facebooked, blatantly stated - YOU ARE VALUED

it hasnt been until this second, that its really hit for a long time.
sure its a book
sure its a website

but shit, this stuff really works

for a "restorative" like myself - i so often focus on the weakness, the issues, the problems of situations and dwell, and sit in the mud attempting to fix it
but yet
strengths has such a different approach - a varied perspective stating that if we focus on our strengths, rather than weaknesses - that we'd actually excel greater than if we only relied on motivation from weakness or issues needing to be fixed.

Sure we're all works in progress - but what if we all held the perspective that we were right, just as we were.
that we are ok. today.
that we are valued, just as we are.
that is liberating, and freeing, and im crying
which is a liberating thing in itself.
as hardheaded, responsible, driven and thick as i attempt to make myself, truth and freedom prevail
and that can only be the work of the holy spirit, whispering - i love you
you are ok
you are christie
you are perfect, and beautiful and known and seen and are
There is such freedom and i dont know why i forget and forsake

for those who are so curious my strengths are :
if you havent take it - click, purchase, take and lets chat about it, cause id love to know yours and would truly love to know you - even if i act like i dont, i really do:

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